Explaining ourselves: an Inane Social Need

Why do we feel the need to EXPLAIN OURSELVES, when clearly we have no true need to do so? How we RUN OUR OWN LIVES and pursue our OWN DREAMS, is no-one’s business but our own! It’s human nature, i suppose. An INANE SOCIAL NEED to be understood.. to be accepted. To be heard.

And so i write.

Man, believe me, it would be SO EASY to just stay here in my cozy house, with my fully-stocked STUDIO and entire room dedicated as a LIBRARY... in a city where buying any kind of FOOD i want, is cheap and available (i LOVE food!)... and with all my FAMILY AND FRIENDS that i love so much! Believe me, i am VERY THANKFUL for them all! Now THAT is a ‘rut’ that is SO easy and comfortable to stay in!

Instead, i plan on leaving all that comfort, to go to a place where it’s not uncommon for the weather to dip to -40C or lower, it’s dark most of the winter and there’s still snow on the ground in mid-June. Taking a few planes to get there, including ancient ones (OH how i hate flying). Where the grocery prices (well, ALL prices) are insanely expensive (a bottle of juice that costs $3 here, is $20 there).. i’m honestly worried if i’ll afford to be able to eat! I’ll be all by myself in an incredibly remote place where i know nobody, and i can’t come back on a whim (or for anything for that matter), because the cost would be astronomical! That basically means that once, i’m there, i’m there to stay until it’s over, however long that will take, because i won’t be able to afford to get back again! It’s an absolutely terrifying prospect!

Yet i feel the need to pull up my boot straps and do it anyway! As far as i’m concerned, STAYING in this cozy existence of mine IS the escape from reality and is the coward’s way out! There is NOTHING easy about moving to Iqaluit! No way, no how!  (WHY Iqaluit, is posted here)

I have Dreams. And sometimes those Dreams SCREAM in my ear to be heard! I can’t for the life of me, ignore them! And living in the ARCTIC is one of the loudest!

I’m in a position where the people i love are completely INDEPENDENT. They have their own lives and they live them as fully as they can or want to. I’m lucky enough to have enough REGULAR INCOME to be able to LIVE some of my own Dreams, and i’m not so stupid as to think that income will last forever! I have it NOW, and i need to USE it now, while i have it AND i have my health! *knock on wood* That’s not going to last forever either! In fact i’m kind of nervous that i’m losing that as we speak.

So now i have explained (to a degree). You either get it or you don’t. I know that my TRUE FRIENDS understand (or at least support) me. I appreciate them more than words can say.

I have always been a DREAMER and will be a Dreamer until the day i die! And hopefully, i will be able to realize as many of those Dreams as i can, before that day arrives!

(This is this post with its original template) ---> 

Compassion is one thing, but it can go too far... A Rant...

Today in my inbox, was a wonderfully powerful blog post by Wandering Earl. It was called, “This post is for my friends in Syria”. Basically boiled down... he was so concerned about his email and deadlines and being overwhelmed, and was near blasting someone for wanting to chat with him on facebook. But that someone was a friend in Syria who was wondering if this was going to be be his last night on earth, as he listened to bombs blasting in his city. This dose of reality wonderfully put life into perspective.

But... What IRKED me, was a commenter, who blithely judges, by saying she ‘hates’ people who complain about their mundane lives, when things like this are happening in the world. Her sanctimonious judgements put me off BIG time, where Earl’s contemplation was gentle and put things into perspective.

Who is SHE to judge what is important in someone’s life or not?

Plus... feeling compassion for others in their horrible situations is one thing. Letting it consume your life is another. That’s what would happen to me if i let it. And it has, a few times in my life, to the point of it being detrimental to my health and life. My compassion can become overwhelming. I have this problem? So what.. someone else is worrying about bombs. I have that problem? Who cares, it means nothing... someone else is enduring vast amounts of physical abuse by her husband. What right do i have to enjoy this yummy mocha when people in Africa don't even have clean water? How can i love something as trivial as art, with all that's going on in the world??

So where does all this leave you and your life? The problem with this sort of thinking, is that it can reduce your life to ziltch. Puts you in a place where you can't enjoy anything in your life. Absolutely nothing is more important the things that so many unfortunate souls have no choice but to endure. There is always someone else in a worse predicament.

So, Little Miss Judgeworth... unless you’re actually doing something about it... volunteering your time to help the less fortunate... do not judge other people and their ‘less important’ problems. In fact, don’t judge at all. You have no right. Heh. Just like i have no right to judge you, because who knows what sort of baggage you’re carrying to be so negative...

And thank you Earl... for a very well-written post.

Anyway yeah. My rant of the day.